Exceptional Etiquette for the Rehearsal Dinner

  

   Planning a wedding is stressful enough without adding to it the stress of planning showers, engagement parties, rehearsal dinners and receptions. I’m here to de-bunk some of the myths of rehearsals dinners, and answer some of the most asked questions.

Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?

     In the past, tradition had it that the groom and/or the parents of the groom were always expected to foot the bill for the rehearsal dinner. This was typically the case because the bride’s parents were the ones paying for the wedding and reception. However, today more couples are paying for their own weddings and feel uncomfortable asking parents to pay for such a dinner. In many cases the parents will offer to host a rehearsal dinner for the couple or to split the bill, but if that is not the case the couple will need to budget a rehearsal dinner into their plans.

Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?

     While there is some flexibility to this list, any and all people involved in the wedding should be invited to the rehearsal dinner. This would include any grandparents, musicians, officiant, flower girls etc. As for additional people invited, some couples choose to invite out of town guests to the rehearsal dinner as well. However, this is completely up to the discretion of the couple and the people who are paying for the dinner.

We are on a tight budget, is it required to host a rehearsal dinner?

     A rehearsal dinner is typically a thank you for being involved in the wedding and is a courtesy for the wedding party taking the time to be involved in the rehearsal. This also serves as a wonderful way for all wedding participants and family members to become better acquainted. If you are on a tight budget, consider hosting a low-key cookout at your home and making the food yourself. There is no need to have a formal dinner at a restaurant or banquet hall for a rehearsal dinner to be meaningful and memorable. After a busy day rehearsing and with wedding preparations most guests will be grateful for a chance to relax.

Should formal invitations be mailed out for the rehearsal dinner?

     This completely depends on the type of rehearsal dinner you are hosting, whether a sit down dinner or back yard bbq. It is polite to inform your guests of the dinner with some kind of invitation, however if you are simply inviting the wedding party and you feel comfortable doing so, a phone call could suffice as an invite.

When should I invite guests to the rehearsal dinner?

     Guests should be notified of the rehearsal dinner no later than 4-6 weeks before the event, same as wedding invitations. Especially for out of town guests, it can be difficult taking the extra time off of work and arranging travel plans.

Who, if anyone, should give a toast at the rehearsal dinner?

     It is not required to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner if you do not wish, however some sort of short speech or toast is typically given to thank the guests for attending and to wish the bride and groom well. This can either be done by the groom, or by the person hosting the dinner.

What can I do to make my rehearsal dinner memorable?

     There are many simple ways to make a rehearsal dinner memorable such as having a special groom’s cake, inspired by something meaningful to him, made and served as the dessert. Choosing a theme or special décor always promises to surprise and awe guests as well.

When does the rehearsal dinner take place?

     The rehearsal dinner typically takes place immediately following the rehearsal, which is typically held the day before the wedding.

How formal should the rehearsal dinner be?

     The rehearsal dinner can be as formal or as informal as you wish. There is nothing wrong with a formal sit down dinner as there is equally nothing wrong with a poolside pizza party. The choice is completely up to the bride and groom and/or whoever is hosting the dinner.

More Ways to Cut Costs from your Special Day

    
     This is part two of my cost cutting wedding blog posts...glad to see you've come back for more! In today's economy eveyone is interested in saving a few bucks and I'm here to provide you with more easy steps to keep your money in the bank without skimping on your perfect day.

6.       Decorations! these beauties take up a large chunk of the budget, and it's no question as to why. What would a wedding be without decor?! A fun and cheap way to decorate your wedding, not to mention give it character, is to consider using unusual items to decorate with, such as family heirlooms, silk flowers or pillar candles that you personalized yourself. Little things like this can turn your wedding into a unique experience that people will walk away from WOWed. And best of all, these things can be resold after the wedding, earning you money in return!

7.       Photography can be extremelely expensive today, but this is one area where you probably don't want to nix. A great way to lower the cost is to consider using a photography student or apprentice. They may not have as much experience working the events, but they will have just as much talent and will appreciate your business! Many times they will give you a package for a fraction of the cost of a “professional photographer.” If you find someone who matches your style and price range, book them!

8.       Another obvious way to save money would be to limit the number of guests you invite. Remember that this is your wedding and people will have to understand that you cannot invite everyone you have ever met or spoken to. If you simply cannot cut your list any farther, consider doing an appetizer only reception, or a fun dessert-only reception with lots of festive cake, cookies and candies. This can turn into a fun theme and your guests won't even miss a sit down dinner!

9.       If you find yourself invite 400 of your closest family members and friends and are wondering how to pay for a cake that size, keep in mind that most bakers will charge you 3-5 dollars a SLICE…that adds up very quickly! To keep costs down, try ordering a cake that feeds only a fraction of your guests for ceremony purposes and then having a big sheet cake to feed the rest. If your caterers are cutting the cake in a separate room and serving it to the guests, no one will ever know the difference!

10.   Lastly, for all of your extra must-haves, consider buying used or borrowing. Whether this means buying your shoes, jewelry and decorations at a thrift store or on craigslist, or borrowing your table centerpieces from a friend. Regardless, it will save a significant amount of money and leave more to splurge on your honeymoon!

Planning a Wedding on a Budget-Ways to Cut Costs from your Special Day

This first blog post is two-part series on ways to cut costs from your special day! this can be one of the hardest parts of wedding planning....but it doesn't have to be!As soon as the ring is placed on her finger, and sometimes even sooner, the idea wheels start turning in the Bride’s mind about wedding details. What flowers will she carry? What colors should she use? What will her dress look like? The questions are endless! However, the thing going through the mind of the person footing the bill is, “How are we going to pay for this?!”  SoundVision.com stated that an average of 72 billion dollars are spent on weddings in America every year; 20,000 of those dollars being spent on each wedding. That’s a lot of money to have lying around waiting for your special day!

     Thankfully, there is hope for the budget-loving brides out there! There are numerous ways to cut costs from the wedding bill and to keep money in your pocket, even something as simple as making a budget and sticking to it. Listed below are the first five ways to cut money without sacrificing the details, or beauty of your special day.

1.       The first and most important way to save you money is to establish a budget. Every budget has a little wiggle room, but overall you need to stick to that budget! Write down a list of what you want for your wedding and rank it highest to lowest in order of importance to you. If you don't really care about favors, put this low on your list. After you have completed this step, track our expenses.  If you end up getting your dress on sale and still have money in that section, move it over to the next section you want to splurge on. This will help keep you from going overboard and let you sleep peacefully at night that you aren’t going bankrupt!

2.        Another money savvy trick essential to saving money on your wedding is to learn to make what you want. Flower bouquets and arrangements, favors, decorations, programs and almost anything can be made by you, a family member, or a family friend. This saves the cost of hiring a vendor to do it and can be a time to bond with those bridesmaids of yours!

3.       If you are not creative or feel you would rather spend your time doing something other than making wedding paraphernalia, then a wedding coordinator can save you lots of time and stress. A coordinator can many times offer you supplies at wholesale cost, saving a significant chunk of money.  Many big stores offer things at a wholesale price, which is the price they offer to businesses and vendors, so you are skipping the store markup.  A wedding coordinator can also be useful in haggling with other vendors and find you the best price for the best product.

4.       Another way to save money is to be willing to work for what you want. It has been said that “time is money,” and many vendors feel the same way! For example, If you are willing to purchase and style the flowers for your cake, your baker may be willing to do the decorating for free, saving you extra money.

5.       An increasingly popular way to save on your wedding day is to have your wedding on an unusual day. For example, you may decide to have your wedding on a Friday night instead of a Saturday afternoon, or a wedding in October instead of in June. Many vendors offer an "off peak" season price which can save you thousands of dollars.